Conversations with children about God.

Bishop Alexander (Mileant)

Conversations with children about God

ABOUT The responsibility for instilling faith in God in children has always rested with the family, with parents and grandparents, more than with school teachers of the Law of God. And the liturgical language and sermons in church are usually incomprehensible to children.

Children's religious life needs direction and nurturing, for which parents are little prepared.

It seems to me that we need, firstly, to understand the distinctive feature of children's thinking, children's spiritual life: children do not live by abstract thinking. Perhaps this realistic nature of their thinking is one of those properties of childhood about which Christ said that “of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” It is easy for children to imagine, to imagine very realistically what we are talking about in the abstract - the power of good and the power of evil. They perceive all kinds of sensations with particular brightness and completeness, for example, the taste of food, the pleasure of intense movement, the physical sensation of raindrops on the face, warm sand under their bare feet... Some impressions of early childhood are remembered for the rest of their lives, and for children it is the experience of sensation that is real. and not reasoning about it... For us, believing parents, the main question is how to convey in such a language of sensations, in the language of concreteness, thoughts about God, about faith in Him. How can we make children feel the reality of God in a childlike way? How can we give them the experience of God in our lives?

I have already said how we introduce the concept of God with ordinary life expressions - “Glory to God!” “God forbid!” "God bless you!" "Lord have mercy!". But it is very important how we say them, whether we express a real feeling with them, whether we really experience their meaning. The child sees icons and crosses around him: he touches them, kisses them. The first, very simple concept of God lies in this consciousness that God exists, just as there is heat and cold, the feeling of hunger or satiety. The first conscious thought of God comes when a child is able to understand what it means to do something - fold, mold, build, glue, draw... Behind every object there is someone who made this object, and the concept of God as the Creator becomes accessible to the child quite early. It is at this time, it seems to me, that the first conversations about God are possible. You can draw a child's attention to the world around him - bugs, flowers, animals, snowflakes, a little brother or sister - and arouse in him a sense of the wonder of God's creation. And the next topic about God that is made accessible to children is God’s participation in our lives. Four- and five-year-old children love to listen to stories that are accessible to their realistic imagination, and there are many such stories in the Holy Scriptures.

New Testament stories about miracles impress young children not with their miraculousness—children hardly distinguish a miracle from a non-miracle—but with joyful sympathy: “Look, a man didn’t see, didn’t see anything, never saw. Close your eyes and imagine that you see nothing, nothing. And Jesus Christ came up, touched his eyes, and he suddenly began to see... What do you think he saw? How did it seem to him? “But people were sailing with Jesus Christ on a boat, and it started to rain, the wind rose, a storm... It was so scary! And Jesus Christ forbade the wind and the disturbance of the water, and it suddenly became quiet...” You can tell how the people who had gathered to listen to Jesus Christ were hungry and could not buy anything, and only one little boy helped Him. And here is a story about how the disciples of Jesus Christ did not allow little children to see the Savior because they were noisy, and Jesus Christ was indignant and ordered the little children to be allowed to come to Him. And, hugging them, he blessed them...”

There are a lot of such stories. You can tell them at a certain time, for example before bed, or show illustrations, or simply “when the word comes.” Of course, this requires that there be a person in the family who is familiar with at least the most important gospel stories. It may be good for young parents to re-read the Gospel themselves, looking for stories in it that will be understandable and interesting to young children.

By the age of eight or nine, children are already ready to perceive some kind of primitive theology, they even create it themselves, coming up with explanations that they observe that are convincing to them. They already know something about the world around them, they see in it not only good and joyful, but also bad and sad. They want to find some kind of causality in life that is understandable to them, justice, reward for good and punishment for evil. Gradually, they develop the ability to understand the symbolic meaning of parables, such as the parable of the Prodigal Son or the Good Samaritan. They begin to be interested in the question of the origin of the whole world, albeit in a very primitive form.

It is very important to prevent the conflict that often arises in children a little later - the conflict between “science” and “religion” in the children’s understanding of these words. It is important that they understand the difference between explaining how an event happened and what the meaning of the event is.

I remember how I had to explain to my nine- to ten-year-old grandchildren the meaning of repentance, and I invited them to imagine in their faces the dialogue between Eve and the serpent, Adam and Eve, when they violated God’s prohibition of eating the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And then they brought to their faces the parable of the prodigal son. How accurately the girl noted the difference between “blaming each other” and the repentance of the prodigal son.

At the same age, children begin to be interested in such questions as the doctrine of the Holy Trinity, life after death, or why Jesus Christ had to suffer so terribly. When trying to answer questions, it is very important to remember that children tend to “grasp” in their own way the meaning of an illustration, an example, a story, and not our explanation, an abstract train of thought.

Growing up, around the age of eleven or twelve, almost all children experience difficulties in the transition from childhood faith in God to more mature, spiritualized thinking. Just simple and entertaining stories from the Holy Scriptures are no longer enough. What is required from parents and grandparents is the ability to hear that question, that thought, that doubt that was born in the head of a boy or girl. But at the same time, there is no need to impose on them questions or explanations that they do not yet need, for which they have not matured. Every child, every teenager develops at their own pace and in their own way.

It seems to me that the “theological consciousness” of a ten- to eleven-year-old child should include the concept of the visible and invisible world, of God as the Creator of the world and life, of what is good and evil, that God loves us and wants us to be kind, that if we did something bad, we can regret it, repent, ask for forgiveness, and correct the problem. And it is very important that the image of the Lord Jesus Christ is familiar and loved by children.

I will forever remember one lesson given to me by believing children. There were three of them: eight, ten and eleven years old, and I had to explain to them the Lord’s Prayer - “Our Father.” We talked about what the words “who art in heaven” mean. Those heavens where astronauts fly? Do they see God? What is the spiritual world - heaven? We talked about all this, judged, and I suggested that everyone write one phrase that would explain what “heaven” is. One boy whose grandmother recently died wrote: “Heaven is where we go when we die.” The girl wrote: “Heaven is a world that we cannot touch or see, but it is very real.” And the youngest wrote in clumsy letters: “Heaven is kindness.”

It is especially important for us to understand, feel and penetrate into the inner world of a teenager, into his interests, his worldview. Only by establishing such a sympathetic understanding, I would say respect for their thinking, can we try to show them that a Christian perception of life, relationships with people, love, creativity gives all this a new dimension. The danger for the younger generation lies in their feeling that spiritual life, spiritual faith in God, church, religion - something else, does not concern “real life”. The best thing we can give to teenagers and young people - and only if we have sincere friendship with them - is to help them think, encourage them to look for the meaning and reason for everything that happens in their lives. And the best, most useful conversations about God, about the meaning of life, arise with our children not according to plan, not out of a sense of duty, but by accident, unexpectedly. And we, parents, must be prepared for this.

With the birth of a child, parents begin to wonder how to correctly introduce such concepts as “faith” and “God” into the child’s life. And the point here is not at all about the piety of the family, but about who and how understands and imagines God. But if you dig deeper, it turns out that each of us has his own idea of faith, the temple and the Lord. It is not for nothing that religious strife has become the cause of many wars and fights. So inoculate to kid believing in something or someone is a big responsibility, a serious step that requires special training and a degree of awareness.

And yet, how to introduce a child to faith?

I think the key word here will be “introduce.” You should not initially set out to instill in your child faith in God, otherwise over time you may catch yourself when inoculation has turned into imposition. After all, no one knows who your child will become when he grows up, what country he will live in, what faith he will want to profess. Therefore, leave him the most important thing - the right to choose.

And so, let’s dwell on introducing the baby to religion. In fact, no matter what faith you profess, what church you attend, you should know that all the basic concepts of God in all religions are absolutely the same. God is the creator, God is omnipotent, God is love, etc. Start with this. Remember that the less child, the fewer nuances and details he should know. Your task is to give him an idea of God, the church, and faith in general. But there is no way to force a child to learn the children's Bible or prayers by heart.

If your family is very devout, you often attend church, go to communion, pray both at home and in church, then you should be very careful in introducing your child to all these attributes of faith. Of course, there is not, and cannot be, anything bad in all of this, except for one thing - coercion. Always make sure that all these trips to church bring true pleasure and not disgust to your child. Try to achieve the main thing - so that the child experiences reverence before God, and not fear or other negative emotions. How to achieve this? The answer is obvious - only by personal example. If you pray only because “it’s necessary” or go to confession or communion, without even having any particular idea of what their purpose is, then, I assure you, the child will see through you very quickly and the question of faith will fade into the background for him for a long time.

God in the eyes of a child

God is like air, he is everywhere. That is why he is always aware of everything that happens both in Heaven and on Earth. A piece of God lives in your heart too, baby. Therefore, he knows everything, all your most secret desires and thoughts. He is always happy to fulfill any of your wishes, you just have to ask. How to ask? Sincerely, with the confidence that God can do anything. God is omnipotent, He can do absolutely everything. Why didn't God fulfill your last wish? It means it was not for your good. God is all-seeing, he sees what is hidden from us. If he didn’t give you something, it means you don’t need it. God must be trusted. Sometimes God tests people's endurance and patience. Whoever passes all the tests receives a gift from God - either the fulfillment of a cherished desire, or even more strength, wisdom, kindness, etc.

Since a piece of God lives in you, you are also God. You are as omnipotent, all-seeing, all-loving as he is. Only you are his student for now. Believe in God and in your strength, and you will be invincible and invulnerable.

Whatever you say, God happily makes it come true. So be careful with bad words or actions. God never punishes anyone. Only you can punish yourself, with your bad thoughts or actions.

God is love. He always loves you, no matter what you do, no matter how bad you do. If you need His help, all you have to do is ask. Prayer is the fastest way to connect with God. It's like calling him on the phone - quickly and reliably.

Church is a place where God is ready to listen to everyone. This is a place where you can recharge yourself with positivity and clear your thoughts. It's like charging batteries when they're about to run out.

In general, you understand the main idea. Naturally, all this cannot be told in one sitting. You need to enter information as needed and as you mature. For example, my four-year-old son never says “I feel bad” or “I’m sick.” He firmly believes that God gives what you say, so he always rephrases his bad health into “I’m healthy,” “I’m much better already,” “Lord, make me get better.” And you know what’s most amazing is that his faith works miracles, and he never tires of rejoicing at it. I wish the same for you with all my heart!

With the birth of a child, parents begin to wonder how to correctly introduce such concepts as “faith” and “God” into the child’s life. And the point here is not at all about the piety of the family, but about who and how understands and imagines God. But if you dig deeper, it turns out that each of us has his own idea of faith, the temple and the Lord. It is not for nothing that religious strife has become the cause of many wars and fights. So instilling in a child faith in something or someone is a big responsibility, a serious step that requires special training and a degree of awareness.

And yet, how to introduce a child to faith?

And so, let’s dwell on introducing the baby to religion. In fact, no matter what faith you profess, what church you attend, you should know that all the basic concepts of God in all religions are absolutely the same. God is the creator, God is omnipotent, God is love, etc. Start with this. Remember that the younger the child, the fewer nuances and details he should know. Your task is to give him an idea of God, the church, and faith in general. But there is no way to force a child to learn the children's Bible or prayers by heart.

God in the eyes of a child

Whatever you say, God happily makes it come true. So be careful with bad words or actions. God never punishes anyone. Only you can punish yourself, with your bad thoughts or actions.

Is it possible to instill religiosity in children?

The law of God taught in schools is not intended to give children knowledge of God (this knowledge it presupposes already existing); he gives children only knowledge about God.

And since knowledge about God, like any other knowledge, is acquired only by the mind and memory, the study of the Law of God in school usually becomes an abstract, external assimilation of religious truths that does not penetrate into the depths of the soul.

Knowing God is different from knowing about God.

Knowledge of God is the direct perception of God with an inner sense, knowledge of God is the property of the mind and memory.

The Gospel speaks about the knowledge of God: This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent.(). The prophet Isaiah speaks about the same thing: The ox knows its owner, and the donkey its master's manger; but Israel does not know [Me], My people do not understand ().

And the very word “religion” means not a simple concept of God, but a living connection between living beings - man and God.

When I studied at the theological school and gymnasium, of the nine-year course of the Law of God that I completed, only the preparatory class course left an impression on me, which is still preserved in my memory and in my heart, perhaps because the teacher was able to give his teaching a special clarity and sincere simplicity.

Meanwhile, regardless of the lessons of the Law of God, a religious life existed in me, in my early childhood. I really felt the presence of God - and this feeling was reflected in the love of visiting church, in the love of church hymns, in festive religious customs, in reading books of religious content, especially the lives of saints, in the love of home prayer, in reading akathists, in religious processions etc. As a child, I was not bored in church, and when I learned to read, I spent my little pocket money not on delicacies, but on buying the lives of saints. And this religious life was in me not because I somehow recognized God with my external feelings as an object external to me. Such knowledge of God is generally impossible, so when unbelievers say that they do not believe in God because they have never seen Him, and no one else has seen Him and cannot see Him, they make a grave mistake by applying that method to the knowledge of God how we perceive the visible objects around us.

On the other hand, no one ever in my early childhood tried to prove to me with various arguments the existence of God; there was no need for this. Yes, even if someone did this, he would give me only external knowledge of what God can or should be, but not the very perception of God as a living being. I, like every other child, knew God in my early childhood not by external experience and not by the arguments of reason, but directly, by internal perception, because I was created in the image and likeness of God. Being like God, man, thanks to his godlikeness, internally and directly perceives God and knows Him.

This inner perception of God is common to all people. If we cease to feel God within ourselves, it is not because we are not capable of this, but because the feeling of God is drowned out in us either by the delusions of our proud mind, or by the sinfulness of our corrupt heart.

To come to the knowledge of God does not mean to find God outside of ourselves, as some external object, or to be convinced of His existence by some logical arguments - it means, in some mysterious way, to give our inner self the opportunity to see God with our inner eye.

From this it is clear that no increase in theological knowledge can achieve knowledge of God. The Jewish scribes, strong in theological learning, were not able to discern in Jesus Christ His Divine power, which simple fishermen, publicans and harlots saw in Him.

And in our time, theological, seminary and academic education does not provide religiosity. If the knowledge of God is achieved through the inner vision of the heart, then the main work, the main task of religious influence and education is to be able to preserve or awaken in the guided this inner vision of the heart, or, in other words, to make such a change in his heart that the spiritual eyes will open him to the sight of God.

Of course, I do not at all want to deny the significance and importance of theological education and teaching of the Law of God; I only want to note that knowledge of God must be clearly distinguished from knowledge about God and, when communicating the latter to children, not think that this exhausts the task of religious leadership.

Knowledge about God is undoubtedly necessary, since it gives specific content to our knowledge of God: it clarifies for us our concept of God, the relationship of God to the world and the world to God. A child's soul, especially one reborn in the Sacrament of Baptism, has the natural ability to know God. This is probably what the Lord Jesus Christ means when he says: if you do not turn and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven (); I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You hid this from the wise and prudent and revealed it to babes (); whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven (); those who are pure in heart... will see God ().

They did not come to the knowledge of God from external experience and not through reasoning and logical conclusions. They knew God as directly as we directly perceive the light and warmth of the sun. Nobody proves the existence of the sun. The Bible does not prove the existence of God, the saints do not seek proof of the existence of God. To make the recognition of the existence of God dependent on the considerations of our mind, constantly fluctuating and changing depending on the insight of our mind and the stock of our knowledge, would mean justifying the undoubted with the doubtful, or viewing the sun with the help of a dim candle.

And not only saints, but also ordinary people sometimes, throughout their entire lives, retain the gift of direct, living and undoubted perception of the existence of God, and this is especially characteristic of simple and humble people, free from the temptations of a proud mind or an unclean heart.

Why children lose faith in God

Why do some people turn out to be able to know God and believe in Him until the end of their days, while others lose faith in their youth? How does this loss of faith occur and by what means is it possible to preserve or return it?

Before answering this question, I want to say a few words to those who say that there is no need to “force” religious beliefs on children.

Religious faith cannot be forced upon a person; it is not something extraneous to man, it is a necessary need of human nature, the most important content of man’s inner life.

When we make sure that a child grows up truthful and kind, we develop in him the correct concept of beauty, a taste for beauty, we do not impose on him anything alien or unusual for his nature, we only help him extract from himself, as it were. to free oneself from swaddling clothes, to discern in oneself those properties and movements that are generally characteristic of the human soul.

The same must be said about knowing God.

According to the principle of not imposing anything on a child’s soul, we would generally have to refuse any assistance to the child in the development and strengthening of his mental strength and abilities. We would have to leave him entirely to his own devices until he grows up and figures out for himself what he should be like and what he shouldn’t be.

But by doing this we would not save the child from extraneous influences on him, but would only give these influences a disorderly and arbitrary character.

Let us return to the question, why do some people retain constant, unshakable faith in their souls until the end of their days, while others lose it, sometimes lose it completely, and sometimes return to it with great difficulty and suffering?

What is the reason for this phenomenon? It seems to me that it depends on what direction a person's inner life takes in his early childhood. If a person, instinctively or consciously, manages to maintain the correct relationship between himself and God, he does not fall away from the faith; if his own “I” takes a primacy and dominant place in his soul that is inappropriate for him, faith in his soul will be eclipsed. In early childhood, one’s own personality usually does not yet come first and is not made an object of worship. This is why it is said: unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Over the years, our own personality grows more and more in us, becoming the center of our attention and the subject of our pleasure.

And this self-centered egoistic life usually goes in two directions - in the direction of sensuality, service to the body, and in the direction of pride, narrow trust and admiration for reason in general and one’s own in particular.

It usually happens that both directions are not combined in the same person. For some, the temptations of sensuality predominate, while for others, the temptations of rationality prevail. With age, sensuality sometimes turns into sexual unhealthyness, from which rational and proud natures are free.

Sensuality and pride, as two types of serving one’s own personality, are precisely those properties that, as we know, manifested themselves in the original sin of primordial people and erected a barrier between them and God.

What happened to primordial people also happens to us.

The unhealthy direction of our inner life from childhood, leading to the development in us of either sensuality or pride, pollutes the purity of our inner, spiritual vision, depriving us of the opportunity to see God.

We move away from God, we are left alone in our selfish life and with all the ensuing consequences.

This is the process of our falling away from God.

For those people who manage to maintain a correct relationship with God, the process of developing egoistic, sensual and proud dispositions encounters an obstacle in the memory of God; they preserve in themselves both purity of heart and humility of mind; both their body and mind are brought within their boundaries by their religious consciousness and duty. They look at everything that arises in their souls, as if from a certain height of their religious consciousness, make a proper assessment of their feelings and aspirations and do not allow them to take possession of them uncontrollably. Despite all the temptations that befall them, they do not lose the main religious direction of their life.

Thus, the task and difficulty of religious leadership is to help a child, boy, youth or girl maintain the correct relationship between himself and God, and not allow the temptations of sensuality and pride to develop in himself, which clog the purity of inner vision.

Remembering my youth, I must admit that it was precisely through the internal process I indicated that the loss of religiosity occurred in me at the age of thirteen or fourteen. The desires of sensuality and excessive trust in the mind, the pride of rationality that developed in me, deadened my soul.

And I’m not alone, many of my comrades suffered from the same thing.

If an observant and experienced leader were found around us and looked into our soul, then perhaps he would find something good in it, but mainly he would find in it laziness, delicacy, deceit, secrecy, arrogance, excessive confidence in one’s own strengths and capabilities, a critical and skeptical attitude towards other people’s opinions, a tendency to make hasty and rash decisions, stubbornness and a trusting attitude towards all negative theories, etc.

If only he would not have found in our soul the memory of God and the inner silence and humility it gives birth to.

We did not have such a leader. Our teacher of the law, a very respectable archpriest, barely had time to ask us the lessons of the Law of God and explain further. And these lessons had for us the same external and indifferent character as all other lessons. Outside of lessons, we did not and could not see the teacher of the law. We treated confession, the only one of the year, with little consciousness.

And nothing prevented us from spiritually fading and dying.

In an American manual for religious youth leaders, I had to read some advice on how to handle this matter. I won't say that this advice is entirely satisfactory. They say - teach children in the circumstances of their daily lives, at home and at school, to notice the presence of God and you can keep their faith. This is not entirely true. Believing children undoubtedly always see the presence of God in their daily lives, but the trouble is that this does not prevent them from losing faith at an older age, and what in childhood they attributed to the obvious influence of God, in adolescence already appears to them in In a different light, they begin to consider their childhood faith as a naive delusion. Considerations that seem very solid and convincing in childhood cease to satisfy an adult. When I was eleven or twelve years old, I once could not solve a difficult problem given to us. I worked my way over it all evening in vain. When I went to bed, I prayed earnestly that the Lord would help me solve the problem. At night I dreamed of a solution to this problem and in the morning, jumping out of bed, I joyfully wrote it down, and my soul was full of a deep, grateful feeling for God, whose help I had no doubt about. When I turned seventeen, this childhood experience of mine did not in the least prevent me from considering myself an unbeliever; I explained what happened as the unconscious work of a rested mind.

This incident shows that our childhood conclusions about God's participation in our lives do not in any way ensure that we maintain faith in our youth. In general, youth tends to be skeptical about everything, and especially about what is offered by elders as an undeniable and obligatory truth for young people.

There is no doubt, of course, that the word of God heard in childhood leaves its mark on the soul and bears fruit in due time. However, even in this case, what matters is not the persuasiveness of biblical truths for the mind, but something else, a more profound change of heart produced by the word of God. If the Bible remains only a possession of the mind and memory, it will not help preserve the faith.

Biblical stories, listened to and accepted with complete confidence in childhood and youth, especially under the influence of negative scientific criticism and current views in society, already cause distrust and denial. You need deep and unshakable faith in the Bible, as the true word of God, in order not to lose a reverent attitude towards it, and, as we know, sometimes even professional theologians do not have such faith.

The same must be said about reading the lives of saints. The lives of saints, of course, can inspire us with the feat of Christian life, but for this it is necessary that we see in the saints not only heroes of bygone times and exceptional circumstances, but our eternal companions, mentors and helpers in Christian deeds, living members of the Holy Church of Christ, with with whom we can be in constant communication and to whom we can turn with prayers for help. In other words, the memory of the saints only brings us real help when we live a full Christian life, live in the Church in inseparable unity with the saints, and when the saints are not just a distant historical memory for us.

All of these methods of religious influence on young people suffer from the fundamental drawback that they skim on the surface, appeal primarily to reason and are not consistent with the internal state of the child’s soul, which has already begun to decay under the influence of sin.

In order to provide real, real help in religious life, it is necessary to delve into this internal, spiritual process occurring in the young soul and leading it to religious devastation. Only by clearly imagining this process, in each individual case, can one see a way out of this state.

The main thing in this process is the development of a sinful, self-contained disposition.

This is what we need to fight against, and not turn to the mind alone with reasoning of a general nature.

Both the loss of faith and the return to it are never accomplished through a calm, theoretical, purely mental process. Both the loss of faith and the return to it are usually a difficult, internal drama, extremely painful, sometimes leading to despair, to the desire for death, and this drama sometimes lasts for many years.

It is impossible to cure such an internal state by talking and pious instructions or learned lectures alone.

It is necessary to contrast the painful process of internal decomposition with another, creative process of internal healing through the influence of some healthy, positive, creative force on the soul.

The main concern of religious education should be that not only in the consciousness of the child, not in his memory and not in his habits, but in the very depths of his spirit, his connection with God is preserved. This inner connection with God should be the stronghold against which all temptations of sensuality and proud self-delusion should be broken.

First of all, a beneficial environment of living religious faith and love for God can help a child in this matter. Just as a candle lights up from a burning candle, so the fire of faith and love flares up in a child’s soul not from instructions or rules, but from the spirit of faith and love surrounding him.

The primary and most important role in the correct course of the religious life of children, of course, is the family. But for this, the family itself must be, according to the words of the Apostle Paul, a small, home church, that is, not only formally be considered Orthodox, not limited only to the external fulfillment of church rules, but really have the Lord Jesus Christ at the center of its life.

Only under this condition will the entire home environment of an Orthodox home and the entire way of family life penetrate deeply into the child’s soul.

And the mother's or father's prayer and the icon or cross over the cradle and bed, and the communion of the Holy Mysteries, and the sprinkling of holy water and the lamp in front of the holy icon - all this will not then be one empty, external form, but will be an expression of the true religious spirit of the family and will not cause contradictions and doubts in the child’s soul.

Provided there is complete unity of spirit and form of religious life in the family, just as a sponge absorbs water, so the soul of a child absorbs the impressions of Orthodox home life.

Religious customs of the family, a meeting, or, a holiday, or - all this does not pass without a trace for the spiritual life of the child. From all this, a stock of holy impressions, joyful and pure experiences accumulates in the soul, constituting the foundation of a future conscious religious life. In later years, at moments of dangerous, critical internal turning points, these experiences, this childhood religious experience emerges in the soul and is a source of salvation and rebirth.

The beneficial influence of a religious Orthodox family is irreplaceable - imperceptibly, organically, easily and freely it lays the foundations of a healthy religious life in a child’s soul.

The second environment, even more necessary for proper religious development, which includes the Orthodox family itself, is Orthodox churchliness, the focus of which is the Lord Jesus Christ. It is necessary that in the soul of an Orthodox child the feeling is strengthened that he is not only part of an Orthodox family, but also part of the Orthodox Church, with which he is organically and forever connected and which is his spiritual nourisher and educator.

Such a feeling easily arises in a child’s soul if the family around him lives with this feeling. The feeling of belonging to the Church is more important than the feeling of belonging to the family. The family may collapse, but the Church never will. He who recognizes himself as a member of the Church will never feel alone in the world, homeless: he feels himself in the strong hand of Christ, in the hand of God. He feels an indestructible stronghold beneath him. He lives in constant communion with Christ, with the saints and the dead.

Strengthening this consciousness in a child is a very important task of religious education.

How a child should recognize Christ

I said that the center of churchliness is the Lord Jesus Christ. He should also be the focus of family life.

A child should recognize Christ not from a picture book, but from his mood, from his way of thinking, from his way of life, from the mutual relations of family members.

If he comes to know Christ in this way, Christ will become near and dear to his soul for the rest of his life.

This is exactly how the ancient Christians, martyrs, martyrs and church fathers were brought up in their native Christian families. It is enough to recall the upbringing of the sisters, or Saints Basil the Great, Gregory the Theologian and John Chrysostom by their mothers.

Thus, the basis of correct religious education is to implant positive Christian content into the child’s soul from the earliest years, to invest it not as something external and temporary, but as a response to the deepest needs of his spirit. With this positive content in the soul, it will be easier for the child to overcome the dark, sinful attractions and temptations that arise in him.

How do young people drift away from Christ?

And yet we must admit that only a few happy and strong-spirited natures manage to stand on the positive Christian foundation of their spirit, while the majority of young people experience a difficult and painful process of moving away from God and subsequent return to Him.

I will try to depict this process in brief words.

The attractions of sensuality and proud self-delusion that arise in a young soul and gradually develop, ultimately become the dominant elements of the soul. The young soul becomes their obedient instrument. In this obedient service to their desires and passions, young people even believe their freedom and ardently protest against any attempt to limit this imaginary freedom.

It cannot be said that these idols erected in young souls gave them real satisfaction. They rush around with them, but find no peace for themselves. They suffer and yearn, looking for something better, more truthful, pure and beautiful - from where arises that thirst to find the meaning and purpose of life, which is so inherent in youth.

Hence comes the passion for visiting great people or writing letters to them, in the hope of hearing from them a saving, guiding word or a ready-made recipe for true life.

Hence the fascination with all kinds of teachings and theories that promise universal happiness and bliss.

Having lost the religious grounding of early childhood, young people make every effort to establish themselves on some other ground.

However, all these wonderful impulses and aspirations for the most part do not go beyond the limits of dreams.

There is not enough will to actually do good, to overcome sensuality, to renounce fruitless speculation.

In the end, a heavy internal drama is created, dissatisfaction, melancholy, dissatisfaction with oneself, a desire for death. Captivated by this mood, young people become immersed in themselves, forget their closest and dearest people, and feel deep loneliness. And in this loneliness they create the most fantastic, unhealthy plans for themselves. Neither intense work nor noisy fun can disperse this difficult state of mind.

How does a turning point occur in religious life?

During this period, a turning point in religious life may follow. There is nowhere to go along the old path. One’s own internal state seems disgusting, although the young man or girl may not yet know how to call it sinful. Is the desire to find a

long, lofty, beautiful and undying meaning of life, for to live without finding such meaning means to drag out a miserable, colorless, aimless, boring existence.

At this fateful moment of the turning point of a young life, suddenly, in some mysterious and mysterious way, some light comes on in the soul, some fresh and joyful feeling arises, some hope appears: life is not nonsense.

Where does this confidence come from that life is not meaningless? What is life? Until now, young thought has been inclined towards a mechanical worldview - life is a collection of atoms and forces and their continuous movement and interaction; life is a causal chain of phenomena,

from the totality of which the whole picture of world, earthly and human existence is made up. And suddenly, in this huge, limitless and soulless mechanism, the young soul begins to feel the presence of something living, great, intelligent and beautiful - the presence of God.

Where does this feeling come from?

Many circumstances can contribute to this; The main thing is that the faith in one’s youthful infallibility was broken, one’s own inner inconsistency was deeply felt. There was no support in myself. There was a need for a different, stronger support.

The soul is at some crossroads. She is in a state of unstable equilibrium. Previous influences and attractions lost their power over her. The new forces within her have not yet emerged. Each, even the most insignificant push, can at this moment have an extraordinary, decisive significance for the whole life.

Sweet, religious experiences of childhood that emerged from the subconscious area of the soul, an unexpectedly heard church bell, a book that accidentally fell into the hands, a meeting and conversation with a deeply and sincerely religious person, a visit to a monastery, the mysterious and silent beauty of nature, a bright artistic image and much more can contribute to this that the turning point already prepared in the soul will suddenly find its outcome. Childhood faith will awaken, shining brightly and sweetly as a guiding star in the soul. Life suddenly gains meaning, there is a desire to live, to work in the name of the ideal that flared up in the soul. The old materialistic worldview turned out to be untenable. The new religious worldview warmed the soul and made life meaningful.

Remembering my own youth, I find in it confirmation that in this way, through many years of internal drama, a return to the lost religious worldview and ideal took place in us. The religious feeling awakened in the soul immediately illuminated the world and life in a different way. The young soul begins to see the beauty and greatness of the world, faith in the highest meaning and significance of life appears, and the heart opens to accept the Gospel.

He begins to be drawn to church, to worship, to confession, to take communion, although his thoughts often remain heretical.

And when in a young soul, after the chaos experienced earlier, these other feelings and needs begin to speak, then we can safely say that the soul has already been saved. Here a new period of spiritual life begins, when, having established itself on a rock by the bitter experience of acquired, rather than rationally assimilated faith, a person begins to consciously build his life on this foundation.

Instead of a conclusion

All of the above can be formulated in the following provisions:

Each person, being the image and likeness of God, is by nature capable of internal, experiential, direct knowledge of God, that is, of faith in God. There are no religiously incapable people, atheists by nature.
Knowledge about God, about His properties and actions, about His relation to the world and about the attitude of people towards him must be inextricably linked with the knowledge of God, that is, with living faith in Him. Otherwise, it becomes external, dead knowledge, the property of only the mind and memory and has little significance for genuine religious life.
The knowledge of God is preserved and grows in a person, subject to the right attitude towards God, purity of heart and humility, in a favorable spiritual environment, family and church.
The main reason for the loss of faith is the unhealthy, sinful direction of life, when one’s own personality with its selfish aspirations comes first and overshadows the correct attitude towards God and people. This is exactly what happened to the primordial people.
the process of sinful life and alienation from God that has begun cannot be stopped by any rational means until it reaches its limit, until the meaninglessness and impossibility of life without God is clearly revealed to the young consciousness through bitter experience. So it was with pre-Christian humanity.
The sinful process is overcome in the young soul by its spiritual resurrection, the emergence in it of a soul-capturing religious, holy ideal, attracting and giving strength to a new direction of life in the name of God. This is how Christian culture arose.
Favorable moments that return a young soul to religious life are: religious memories of childhood, the influence of nature, the influence of fiction, meetings with truly religious people, visiting centers of religious life (monasteries, elders, holy places) and reading religious literature.

Archpriest Sergius Chetverikov. How to raise and maintain faith in God in children.

M.: Sretensky Monastery; "A new book"; "Ark", 1999 32 p.

How does a child’s faith differ from an adult’s?

There is such an expression: conscious faith in God. This is usually what they say about the attitude of adult mature people towards the Creator. But children, especially from religious families, also have some idea of God. So what is childlike faith? How is she different from an adult? We decided to ask Orthodox parents about this. For many participants in our online survey - especially for those who themselves have recently come to the Church - raising children in the faith is a task with many unknowns.

“This is a very sensitive issue for me. My daughter is almost thirteen. Lately she goes to church less often, takes communion less often, and prays less. And I don’t know whether she does this sincerely or just because she “has to,” because she categorically avoids talking about faith. Or rather, you can talk to her about something like that... factual, but not about what concerns her personal attitude towards faith and God. And when she was six years old, I found a clumsy pencil inscription in the margins of a children’s Bible: “I love God” - it was definitely sincere.”

“I read everything in books about how pious children there are. They can read a prayer in case of difficulties, remind their parents about God, anoint a sore spot with oil... I keep waiting for something spontaneous from my children... No, they sometimes like to speculate - about the creation of the world, about the afterlife, about fate and case. They love to smear themselves with holy oil and eat prosphora. But how much of this is their own faith? For now, I’m inclined to think that this is a habit, a custom adopted from my parents.”

“Any child who is the most religious from infancy experiences a crisis around adolescence, after which he is able to choose faith again - or reject it. Often a crisis is invisible, but if you talk to a person frankly, you usually find it. For a child to remain happily in the Church, a child’s believing company of peers is extremely important.”

“The confessor told me: “You need to take your child to church as often as possible and give him communion. And if the time comes and he leaves the Church, it will be easier for him to return back.”

“My five-year-old son perceives God as an absolutely real person, so to speak. Well, like your grandmother, for example. Likewise with the angels and the Virgin Mary. Once I found him with a prayer book in his hands - but he still doesn’t know how to read. He stood alone in the room in front of the icons and said, looking at the images: “Mother of God, you are good.”

“Children’s faith is all about feelings and deep inner knowledge. It so happened that on my path to faith I took decisive steps and confident turns for the sake of children and thanks to children. I sincerely rejoice for our great-grandfathers, in whom faith was deeply and deeply rooted. So deep that they had no questions or doubts. And it probably passed naturally to children as well. There was no need to “teach” them this.
I don’t have such an inheritance. Therefore, moving by touch for now, I am very afraid of putting pressure on the children. But I began to notice that they themselves began to need prayer before bed and even before training. I saw how relieved my daughter felt when she received Christian answers to her first questions about death. How the world of saints and angels enters her worldview and becomes part of her hopes, fantasies, aspirations...
She learned two prayers herself. One of the evening rules, the shortest one, and now she always pronounces it herself. The second one was sung in Sunday school. She couldn't remember the ending. So she repeated it to herself all day in kindergarten, and in the evening before going to bed she joyfully sang it all. And I was afraid to even offer to teach her prayers!
I won’t say anything about her perception of God. I try not to ask her direct questions on this topic. The material is too thin! And, again, I repeat, I am not confident in my abilities. I’m not sure that I will resolve all her doubts correctly. But if she asks a question or starts a conversation, I, of course, support (often putting everything aside) and, with God’s help, try to answer.”

“I keep remembering the incident that touched me. Masha was about four years old at the time. I sat her down for dinner and placed a plate of soup in front of her. She said her usual: “Lord, bless the food,” crossed the soup, took the spoon and... Ay! The soup turned out to be hot. I tell her - blow it, they say. And she, without looking at me, still with the same seriousness: “Lord, bless me, so that I don’t get too hot!” Does she still have the same trust now? Don't know".

“I wouldn’t say that a child’s faith is so different from an adult’s. Children, of course, are more trusting, simple, open, everything with them is unreasonable, based on feelings - but they are like that in everything, not only in faith. Children can easily pray for “everyday” things: for the snow to fall, for the knee to go away, etc.; they feel freer in church, even if they rarely go there, more “at home,” it seems to me.”

“Children know that there is an adult and there is God who cares about them, and they don’t want to live an independent life, because they know that they will die.
Not like that for adults, not like that... They think that they can arrange this life themselves, on their own. It is this quality of children that Christ speaks about.”

“I would say that the main feature of children’s faith is complete trust in God, the absence of doubt. For children, the existence of God is an absolute reality, and their faith is built on experience, not on beliefs. That’s why she’s very alive.”

Children's faith is not the same at different ages. The periods of growing up, each of which has its own type of religiosity, are described by the famous Russian philosopher and theologian Archpriest. V.V. Zenkovsky in the book “Psychology of Childhood”.

First childhood: from birth to 5-7 years
The child does not yet have his own intelligence and experience. In its development, it relies on intuition and feelings. This phase is also called the phase of naive egocentrism. The child perceives the world only in connection with himself: my mother, my home, my toy. He can be sure that his father goes on business trips to bring gifts, and the moon rises to shine through his window. Self-awareness and assessment of one’s actions are still very weak. Morality and understanding of sin are perceived by faith, adopted from parents. The beginnings of sinful inclinations exist, but do not have conscious power. The perception of God and spiritual life is very vivid, imaginative, and immediate. There are no difficulties in following religious rules: children willingly reproduce the forms of parental piety.

Second childhood: from 5.5-7 to 11.5-13 years (for girls slightly earlier than for boys)
The goal that the child strives for at this stage is to enter the practical sphere, separate reality from imagination, study the mechanisms of the surrounding life and take a place in its order. This is the time of the triumph of “reason”, borrowing the experience and views of elders, formalizing moral ideas and rules, such concepts as “norm”, “duty”. This stage is similar to the Old Testament - the perception of God and morality here is very similar to legalism. Everything that is fair, logical, and expedient is considered good and worthy of approval. Sin is already recognized and experienced by the child’s soul as a deviation from the law, even betrayal.
It is extremely simple and natural for children at this time to move on to religious activity: visiting a temple, especially serving in it, observing church rituals and requirements is natural and pleasant. Christianity, which reveals the life of the Savior and the Mother of God, the life of the saints and their exploits, becomes necessary precisely in its earthly side. Second childhood is a time of intensive study, it is here that the intellect absorbs the bulk of catechetical knowledge.
It is very easy to fall into the illusion of thinking that everything is fine with the child. Meanwhile, it is precisely at this time that “droughts” occur in the soul, when, under the cover of prayerful actions (prayer, the sign of the cross), they are separated from the spiritual core of the personality.
The task of parents here is to preserve the desire for heavenly things in their children, not to let them get carried away by external forms, and even more so to learn opportunistic, hypocritical posing for show. This will be possible if adults themselves maintain sincerity and depth of faith and feelings. The second task: to make the religious view of things the basis of the worldview.

Adolescence: from 11.5-13 to 15-16.5
"Reverie" is the key to this period. But only with this period does true self-awareness begin, interest in one’s inner world, acute self-emphasis on one’s desires. Adolescence is painful for the teenager himself and for those around him. Stubbornness, distrust of other people's experience, dissatisfaction with oneself, approaching the boundaries of morality through adventure, sometimes obsession with criminal thoughts - all this is combined with painful feelings of loneliness, misunderstanding, uselessness, and a passionate dream of friendship. Thinking here is illogical, irrational, critical, no longer in the sense of comparison and analysis, but in the sense of rejecting any rule and authority.
One of the most painful experiences at this time is the experience of freedom. What to do with freedom, what is its meaning and “secret”, whether there are boundaries for it or not - all this remains unclear.
Religiosity, and especially its external forms, are almost completely rejected. Although sin can be experienced acutely, it is expressed in very dark, desperate forms. This is the stage of the “prodigal son”, and the family should think most of all about how the teenager can be free in it, so that nothing drives him out of it. A teenager’s caring attitude towards him, without the slightest hint of coercion or reprimand, can create a bright spiritual atmosphere in the family, to which the “prodigal son” will want to return. The consciousness that the family remains faithful to God helps the teenager in the days of his spiritual adventures and wanderings, and if he freely returns in his own time to this warmth and light, this will no longer be a temporary flash of former feelings, but the beginning of smooth, bright spiritual growth.

To help parents and Orthodox teachers, we offer a list of some books published in the last ten to fifteen years, in which you can find answers to questions about the Christian upbringing of children:

Sofia Kulomzina. "Our Church and our children". -- M.: Pilgrim, 2002. Despite the fact that the book was written several decades ago and concerned the Orthodox in America, it is also relevant for today's Russia. The author was born at the very beginning of the 20th century, after the revolution she emigrated abroad. A church teacher and mother of four children, she devoted her whole life to working with children - she led summer camps and Sunday schools at the Russian Student Christian Movement in France, organized parish schools and seminars for Sunday school teachers in America. The book contains a lot of specific advice - for example, how to explain the Sacrament of Holy Communion to children, what can and should be talked about in church education with young children, and what they will not understand, how to help a teenager survive the “transitional age”, etc.

Archpriest Gleb Kaleda. "Home Church". - M.: Conception Monastery, 1997. A book of essays by a famous Moscow priest and professor, father of six children, in which he sets out his understanding of the family as a home church, as a school of love, a school of life experience and spiritual growth, based on Scripture and the writings of the Fathers and teachers of the Church.

Natalya Shakhovskaya-Chic. "Stories about children." Published in the magazine "Alpha and Omega" No. 3 (14) for 1997. Natalia Dmitrievna Shakhovskaya-Shik was the mother of five children, the wife of the priest Fr. Mikhail Shik, executed in 1937. Her observations about children, which later took shape in short stories that were written “on the table,” are distinguished by sincerity and the absence of moralizing notes.
S.S. Samuilova, N.S. Samuilova. "Father's Cross"- St. Petersburg: Satis, 1996. This is a three-volume documentary story, written based on the vivid childhood memories of two sisters, daughters of Fr. Sergius Samuilov, rector of the church in the village of Ostray Luka, and then priest of the Resurrection Cathedral in the city of Pugachev, Samara province. Father Sergius (later repressed) after the death of his wife in 1920 raised four children alone.

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. "Marriage and Family".– Kyiv: Prologue, 2004. Metropolitan Anthony examines the most pressing problems of the relationship between husband and wife and raising children in the modern world. The book consists of three sections: “Catechism for Parents”, “Conversations with Parents”, “Raising Children in the Faith”. Weighted and specific advice from Metropolitan. Antonia will help many parents in difficult situations.

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. "About a meeting".-- Klin: Christian Life Foundation, 1999. This collection of texts about a person’s meeting with God contains Metropolitan Anthony’s memoirs about his childhood and youth, “Without Notes.” In particular, a very vivid story about how, as an unbelieving teenager, he decided to read the Gospel only in order to “read it and be done with it,” never to return to it again, and while reading, he experienced a living meeting with Christ, which turned everything upside down. his life.

Archpriest Maxim Kozlov. "Children's Catechism - 200 children's questions and non-children's answers."- M.: Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow State University, 2001. The book is written in the form of questions and answers. The most unexpected questions about the modern world, about God, the Church, and faith were asked by students of Sunday schools and Orthodox gymnasiums. Answered by Archpriest Maxim Kozlov, candidate of theology, rector of the Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow University. Another book is also built in the form of questions and answers. Archpriest Maxim Kozlov “The Last Fortress. Conversations about family life". Here are the answers about. Maxim to questions from adults about family life and raising children. - M.: Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow State University, 2005.

Alexandra Sokolova. “Two of my candles. Daughter of Jerusalem."-- Publishing house of the Makariev-Reshem Monastery, 1997, 2000. Two stories by our contemporary, in which she talks about the life of her family, raising two sons, joining the Church with them, about her mistakes and questions along this path.

Collection “What from childhood helped me become a believer?”- M.: Temple of the Three Saints on Kulishki, 2001. The collection contains memories of the childhood of Metropolitan Veniamin (Fedchenkov), Metropolitan Anthony (Bloom), Archbishop John (Shakhovsky), Prince S.E. Trubetskoy, our contemporaries - Vladimir Soloukhin, Valentin Rasputin.

In the collections “Feat of Family Education”(M.: Temple of the Three Saints on Kulishki, 2000) and "At the Beginning of the Path"(M.: Temple of the Three Saints on Kulishki, 2002) included conversations of Moscow shepherds - Rev. Valeriana Krechetova, prot. Konstantin Ostrovsky, prot. Artemy Vladimirova, prot. Vladislav Sveshnikov, prot. Boris Nichiporov, sounded in the Church of the Three Saints in Kulishki as part of the “Orthodox Family School” classes, which raised issues of modern Christian upbringing of children.

"In My Father's House". - M.: Temple of the Three Saints on Kulishki, 2001. Collection of articles devoted to the Christian family and the religious education of a child, written by Russian religious thinkers of the 20th century: I.A. Ilyin, Rev. V. Zenkovsky, prot. A. Elchaninov. The collection contains the chapter “About the Family” from the book “The Path of Spiritual Renewal” by Ivan Aleksandrovich Ilyin, in which he formulates the main tasks of education. Archpriest and professor Vasily Zenkovsky speaks in his articles about the uniqueness of the spiritual life of childhood. Fragments from the spiritual diary of Father Alexander Elchaninov, concerning the topic of family and education, contain the practical experience of an insightful and compassionate priest. The works of these authors of the Russian Abroad today can be called classics of Orthodox pedagogy.